THEIR LOVE IS STRONG

Editor's Note: The following post was written by BH resident and fellow Californian, TT Quandry. It is a touching piece written at what must be a very difficult time for TT and her family. In a world full of cynics who swear that love is dead, it is reassuring to read that love lives on in the hearts of people all over. TT, thank you for sharing with us.

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Their Love
By TT Quandry

I got word today that my uncle who has had cancer for a very long time, was close to the end. I went to see him. I walked into his home, my aunt greeted me, with a hug, the “it is near hug.”

He was in a hospital bed at the foot of their bed. My aunt lay on their bed, and reached into his hospital bed, to hold his hand. The love they had for each other was screaming. He held her hand tightly. His grip was strong. He searched for her wedding ring on her finger.

His arms were all dark, his face drawn from his weight loss. His oxygen was going into his nose. We told him I was there. I had come to see him. We talked around his bed; I sat in his wheelchair, my other aunt in his walker. He said something. What was it? We all listened. After asking him to repeat it over and over, he wanted a hug from me. I put down the side rail and hugged my uncle. A once vibrant man, who was a part of my youth, and was there always, was now a frail man.

I could tell he was holding on. He would not let the life he had slip away. He wanted to get up and share the day with us. But he did not have the strength. My aunt sat there on their bed. Holding his hand. She is so attentive to every need he has. Every move he made, she war right there to help him. She really loves him. Their little cat has even found a place by his side in the hospital bed. Keeping my uncle company.

As I am about to leave, I went to the head of the bed to say good-bye. Leaning over the bed, I hugged him. Told him to do what he needed to do. He said ‘I love you’.

I can only imagine the love they shared, my aunt and uncle. It was written all over their actions and faces. She taking care of him by herself, over the years, months, now days, giving him the physical and emotional care he needs. Giving him the normalcy of life. Yesterday it was loading the car with everything so they could have a few days at the beach. Today is was putting drops of water into his mouth to keep it moist. He is holding on to life for her. He is her pillar of life. Their love is strong…

MONDAY MORNING RAMBLINGS...

By Debbie Bulloch





Lately I seem to be in a Simon and Garfunkel “mood.” I have always loved the simple beauty of their lyrics but lately I have been going back, more often than usual, to their music to find comfort in these troubled times. Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel know how to weave words into a tapestry of sounds and melodies that surrounds me and soothes my soul.






Two of their songs, in particular, have been running through my head. One of the songs is Homeward Bound.

I wish I was,
Homeward bound,
Home where my thought's escaping,
Home where my music's playing,
Home where my love lies waiting
Silently for me…

One of the interesting things about Second Life is how it has become “home” for so many of us. At least for me, SL has become more than a second life - it has become a second home where I come at the end of a busy day to spend time with dear friends.

Initially, it did not start out this way. I signed on to SL because I was eager to find out what all the talk was about. With no previous experience in an online role playing situation I had no idea, no clue really, what to expect. Very quickly I became "hooked" to Second Life. And just as quickly as I became attached to my so-called second life I also became quickly, and deeply, attached to people and things in SL.

That is the reason why the other day, while listening to Homeward Bound, I was not surprised to realize that for me the lyrics in Simon and Garfunkel song had come to refer not to an actual, physical place. Instead, as the song played on, the lyrics kept pulling me here, to SL.

Ev'ry day's an endless stream
Of cigarettes and magazines.
And each town looks the same to me, the movies and the factories
And ev'ry stranger's face I see reminds me that I long to be,
Homeward bound,

I don’t smoke cigarettes (never have, I am too cheap to burn my money away) and I don’t travel from town to town. But lately, whenever I look at strangers’ faces I am reminded of how much I long to return to SL, to be with my online friends and to visit the places that are now so familiar to me.

Have I really now gone too far down the rabbit’s hole? Have I forfeited my real life for life here, in SL? Time will only tell.

The other Simon and Garfunkel that I have been listening to quite a bit lately is I Am a Rock.

A winter’s day
In a deep and dark December;
I am alone,
Gazing from my window to the streets below
On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow.
I am a rock,
I am an island.
I’ve built walls,
A fortress deep and mighty,
That none may penetrate.
I have no need of friendship; friendship causes pain.
Its laughter and its loving I disdain.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

Second Life has now become one of most widely used Internet social networks. The reasons are easy to see. Unlike other Internet social networks, SL provides a rich graphical interface and, through the ability to shape our own unique on-line experience, we can transcend the limitations of text-only social networks.

The ability to create an avi that can be seen and touched by others has its own perils, however. Our in-world selves, our avis, are subject to the same range of human emotions, including heartbreak and loneliness, that our RL selves are subject to. As we live our in-world lives, our brains may tell us that we are mere pixels on a computer monitor. Our hearts, however, often disregard the signals coming from the brain and plunge headlong into the heights (and lows) of love.

What can we do to protect ourselves? Do we even want to protect ourselves? I don’t know - I don’t have the answers. Building walls around ourselves, or hiding behind a computer screen, may provide temporary protection. In the long run, however, we cannot hide forever behind the comfort provided by our SL avis. So what is the answer? Heck if I know!

I have my books
And my poetry to protect me;
I am shielded in my armor,
Hiding in my room, safe within my womb.
I touch no one and no one touches me.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

And a rock feels no pain;
And an island never cries.

Here, for your visual and listening pleasure, are Simon and Garfunkel’s Homeward Bound and I Am a Rock – I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

Homeward Bound (from the historic 1967 Monterey, California concert)



I Am a Rock (I can't believe these guys were once so young and cute!)



One final note: Sunday was my best friend’s birthday. She has been my spiritual counselor, my sounding board, my advisor, my home’s designer and builder and my homeless shelter chief builder (the only builder really). She has listened to me when I was happy, flying as high as a kite and she has listened to me when I was so far down the dumps that bottom looked like “up.” We don’t always see eye to eye on everything; in fact on many issues we will NEVER see eye to eye. I call her a Dutch Bolshevik and she fires right back and calls me a spoiled America princess. I call her crazy and she calls me nuts. I call her my best friend in SL and she smiles, and tells me that I am her best friend too.

I call her love, I call her wise, and I call her kind and generous. I call her Yucca!

Happy belated birthday my dear friend!