LOOKING INTO A MIRROR - PART ONE

By Debbie Bulloch



It is already the 11th day of the New Year. Christmas decorations have been put away, the Christmas tree is down, and all the New Year’s Day champagne is gone. I already miss the Christmas holidays: the bright lights, the pretty decorations and all those wonderful smells.

Anyway, a whole full 11 days have passed since the beginning of 2009 and I have not written a new blog post. I feel like such a lazy bum!

In my own defense, I have been very busy both at home and at work. As a further excuse, I am suffering from a bad (OK, maybe just a mild) case of sinus infection. My head feels as if it is about to explode and the pressure above my eyes makes me feel like my head is being squeezed by a big old wooden vise – you know, like the kind the Spanish Inquisition used in order to persuade people to “confess.” Alright, maybe I am exaggerating just a tad, but I do feel crummy (isn’t it nice, I am hosting my own sympathy party).

Before I go on, however, I wish to thank everyone who made my birthday such a nice, memorable day. It is not always easy being a New Year’s Day baby – everyone is too tired or too busy to remember your birthday. But this year I was overwhelmed with all the good wishes from SL and RL friends. Thank you all for making my birthday such a memorable one. Also, a belated thank you goes to my beloved USC Trojans for yet another victory at the Rose Bowl. When will all those other teams finally realize that the Rose Bowl is USC’s home? GO TROJANS!

Well, back to the business at hand – to finally write the first blog post of the year. On Tuesday I finally broke down and decided to go and see my doctor. After listening to my lungs and heart (gad I hate that cold stethoscope) my doctor confirmed what I already knew: I am suffering from a sinus infection. So the doctor wrote out a prescription for antibiotics and sent me off on my merry way.

As I walked out on the parking lot I noticed a young woman standing about 10 meters away from my car. Something about the way she looked and the way she dressed told me that did not belong there. Instantly, my radar went on overdrive and I could hear all sorts of alarm bells going off.

The parking lot was deserted, except for the young woman and me. Although she did not look like the type who would try to harm me common sense and experience warned me to be prepared, just in case the young woman was planning to do “something.” As I walked towards my car, she began to walk directly towards me – clearly intending to intercept my path. Great, I thought to myself, now I am going to have to deal with this person. I am not an unfriendly person but I have learned, from painful personal experience, that casual street encounters with strangers, even one as young and harmless as she appeared to be, always have the potential for ending badly.

As she walked closer to me I did what experience and my friends at the police department have taught me to do, I made direct eye contact with the young woman. My gaze seemed to have caught her by surprise, as if she did not expect me to look straight at her. She stopped and looked down on the floor.

That is when something odd happened. I looked into her eyes I noticed that she seemed to be as wary of me as I was of her. Then I noticed something even more surprising – looking into the girl’s soft green eyes was like staring into a mirror and seeing a reflection of me twenty years ago. Slowly I let down my guard and half-smiled at the girl. Then I spoke to her:

“Good morning,” I said to her, “may I help you?”

My words took her by surprise. She shook her head, turned on her heels and began to walk away from me.

“Wait, please stop” I pled with her. “I was just wondering if I could help you with something.”

She turned around and I could see that her clothing, while clean, were old and out of fashion. It was a fairly chilly morning (for Southern California standards) and the girl was wearing just a simple cotton dress which obviously did not manage to keep her warm.

“Come on, I can tell that you were about to ask me something, don’t stop, I won’t bite” I said to her trying my level best to appear friendly and open.

“OK,” she replied, “can I have a couple of bucks?”

Great, I guess my instincts were wrong and the girl was probably just another druggie trying to score some money for her next drug buy. Now I was upset with myself for letting my guard down.

“What do you want the money for, to buy drugs?” I asked her in a harsh tone.

She looked up from the floor and her green eyes locked on mine. Her answer struck straight at my heart.

“I am not a user, I am just very hungry.”

I was still not convinced, so I cross-examined her further.

“Are you really hungry, or are you just giving me some BS?” I said to her. “I have heard just about every line of BS and I am not a fool.”

The girl looked at me and in her eyes I could see a mixture of sadness and anger.

“Look lady, if you don’t want to help me, fine, keep your money. Just don’t accuse of me being a liar. I am really hungry.”

It is a sad commentary that in the USA, the richest country in the history of the world and in California, one of the richest states in the entire country, there should still be people who are hungry. I have previously posted here regarding the number of homeless and hungry people living in Southern California - the world’s Entertainment Capital. As the worldwide economy worsens, the number of homeless and hungry people will continue to increase. Which leaves us with this question: what are we going to do, as a society and as individuals, to end the suffering of the hungry and the homeless?

Think about it and then do something about it...please.

I looked at her and I said. “Look, if you are really hungry let’s go and get some breakfast, I just came out of the doctor and have not had breakfast and I am…”

I was about to say that I was starved, but that would have been cruelly ironic. So Instead I told her that I too could use a bite to eat.

“Do you have a car to follow me?” I asked her.

“Lady, I don’t have enough money to feed myself, how could I afford a car?”

“Well, there is a little breakfast place not too far from here, we could drive in together and we can get a bite to eat.” She looked like she did not trust me, as if she was afraid that if she got in my car I was going to take her to the nearest police station. I could read the doubt on her eyes. I opened my purse, took out my wallet and showed her pictures of my daughter.

“Look, I have a daughter about your age. I am a mom; I am not going to hurt you.” Then I added. “Plus I know what you are going through.”

She looked at me in disbelief.

“You know what is like to be like me, hungry?”

“As a matter of fact, I do, but we can talk about that later.” Smiling, I then added. “I could give you the money if you want it, and you can get your own food, but I could really use someone to talk to. So how about it, will you come with me?”

She finally seemed convinced and sop she followed me to my car. We both got in and then drove off to the restaurant. During the five minute drive from my doctor’s office to the restaurant the young woman did not speak a word. Out of the corner of my eye I could see her staring out the window, like a little kid going on her first car trip.

When we got to the restaurant she smiled, for the first time since we first met, and said to me, “Hey, I know this place, my parents used to bring me here.”

“So you are a local girl?” I asked.

“Well, I was born in this area,” she answered, “…then my parents got divorced and mom and my brother and I went to live in Florida. But I like it better here, so I moved back a while ago.”

The girl’s tale of divorcing parents and family displacement sounded all too familiar to me.


Next: Part Two - A Girl Just Like Me

Just Another Day In Paradise

By Debbie Bulloch



She calls out to the man on the street
"Sir, can you help me?
It's cold and I've nowhere to sleep,
Is there somewhere you can tell me?"

He walks on, doesn't look back
He pretends he can't hear her
Starts to whistle as he crosses the street
Seems embarrassed to be there

Oh think twice, it's another day for
You and me in paradise
Oh think twice, it's just another day for you,
You and me in paradise

She calls out to the man on the street
He can see she's been crying
She's got blisters on the soles of her feet
Can't walk but she's trying

Oh think twice...

Oh lord, is there nothing more anybody can do
Oh lord, there must be something you can say

You can tell from the lines on her face
You can see that she's been there
Probably been moved on from every place
'Cos she didn't fit in there

Oh think twice, it's another day for
You and me in paradise
Oh think twice, it's just another day for you,
You and me in paradise

Oh think twice….

“Another Day in Paradise” is the title of a 1989 song written by singer / songwriter Phil Collins to bring attention to the problem of homelessness. Almost twenty years later the problem of homelessness continues unabated.

Worldwide, homelessness is the Number One human rights issue facing us. No other issue is as important or as far reaching as the problem of homelessness. Global warming and the depletion of the ozone layer do not matter a damn to a child living out on the streets, with no roof over his head, no pillow under is head and no food in his belly. In the United States, the richest and most powerful country in the world, as many as 3.5 million people experience homelessness in a given year (that is 1% of the entire U.S. population or 10% of its poor).

Worldwide, North – South from Canada to Argentina and East – West from Australia to Russia millions of people, including women, the elderly and children do not have a place to call home, have no shelter from the cold and rain, and have no food to eat. It is the single, biggest shame of our era that at a time when we can communicate at the speed of light thanks to the miracle of our Internet-wired world we still have not figured out a way to shelter and feed all of our brothers and sisters.

One of the reasons why homelessness is such a pervasive, hard-to-fix problem is because many of us, just like the man in the song, wish to pretend that the problem does not exist.

He walks on, doesn't look back
He pretends he can't hear her
Starts to whistle as he crosses the street
Seems embarrassed to be there.

We would like to pretend that the homeless are different from the rest of us and that somehow they brought the situation unto themselves. The reality of the situation, however, is that the homeless represent a cross-section of the population at large. In fact, the homeless are very much just like you and me.

According to recent statistics:

Familial composition:
• 40% are families with children—the fastest growing segment.
• 41% are single males.
• 14% are single females.
• 5% are minors unaccompanied by adults.
1.37 million (or 39%) of the total homeless population are children under the age of 18.

Ethnicity:
• 49% are African American.
• 35% are Caucasian.
• 13% are Hispanic.
• 2% are Native-American.
• 1% is Asian-American.

Health-concerns:
• 22% are considered to have serious mental illnesses or are disabled.
• 30% have substance abuse problems.
• 26% report acute health problems such as tuberculosis, pneumonia, or sexually transmitted infections.
• 46% report chronic health conditions such as high blood pressure, diabetes or cancer.
• 55% report having no health insurance (compared to 16% of general population).
• 58% report having trouble getting enough food to eat.

Backgrounds:
• 23% are veterans (compared to 13% of general population).
• 25% were physically or sexually abused as children.
• 27% were in foster care or similar institutions as children.
• 21% were homeless at some point during their childhood.

Location:
• 71% reside in central cities.
• 21% are in suburbs.
• 9% are in rural areas.

In the United States, the Los Angeles region is thought to have the largest concentration of homeless persons in the country. In its biannual census of 2005, Los Angeles counted nearly 90,000 homeless persons living in the County at any given night. A quarter of a million are expected to be homeless at any time of the year. A 50-block area in downtown Los Angeles called Skid Row has a homeless population as large as the homeless population of all of San Francisco.

The numbers above are not unique to the USA. In other industrialized countries, the percentages above are very similar to the US percentages.

In other words, we are the homeless and the homeless are us. The next person that you meet may be a homeless person or may have been a homeless person at some point in his or her life. Think about that the next time that you are tempted to complain about the presence of homeless people in your community, or want to blame them for their situation, or feel that their requests for money or support are unjustified
With the worldwide economic downturn, the problem will get bigger not smaller. The rank of homeless men, women and children will grow.

So what should we do? Should we look the other way, like the man in the song, and pretend that the problem does not exist? Or should we use the power that we have, the power of a million ideas, and resolve to one day reach the goal of eliminating homelessness from the face of our planet.

We created Between Homes © to provide homeless SL avis, with a place to call their own; a place to hang out, relax and have a good time. But SL is a “just a game,” after all technically there is really no such thing as a homeless avis. So what is the real reason for creating BH?

We, of course, want our residents to have fun and enjoy a good time while in-world. But we also want you to think about the homeless in your town, in your country in the world. We want you to think about possible solutions to the problem and then we want you to act upon those solutions. What it means to take action will depend on each one of you.

Action could mean something like donating time as a volunteer at your local homeless shelter. Action could mean something like donating money to your shelter or pushing your local politicians to do something about the problem. Or, action could mean something as simple, and powerful, as stopping treating the homeless as if they are invisible people who do not exist; smile at a homeless person give her a few words of encouragement and reassure her that the world does care.

I can tell you that those few words of hope and encouragement could make all the difference in the life of a homeless person.

Thank you for reading this; I hope that you will take this call to action seriously. We are each individual agents for change.

As Mother Teresa once said:

In this life we cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love.

Go do small things with lots of love!